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Jenny Gould Therapy

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Jenny's Blog

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By Jenny Gould, Jun 21 2019 09:12AM

It’s very common to deal with difficult feelings by suppressing them. The problem is that means we also dumb down positive emotions because it’s not possible to be selective about which we suppress. The more we try to detach from, and avoid our feelings, the more they will stay locked inside a kind of negative cycle within us. Emotions need to see the light of day, to be acknowledged and ‘unpacked’ and in that way we can allow ourselves to let them go. I love this definition: ‘vulnerability is where courage and fear meet’. I highly recommend Brené Brown’s book “Daring Greatly” and you will also find many You Tube videos of her talks.

By Jenny Gould, Jun 19 2019 10:01AM

Whilst I don't usually quote from religious texts, I love this one that I heard recently whilst listening to an Andrew Solomon TED talk:

" If you bring out what is within you, then what is within you will save you.

If you will not bring out what is within you, then what is within you will destroy you"

Gnostic Gospel of St Thomas

By Jenny Gould, Jun 12 2019 10:55AM

“It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.” Sidney J. Harris

By Jenny Gould, Jun 10 2019 11:42AM

Sudden feelings of panic are very unpleasant - if you’ve ever had what is generally called a panic ‘attack’, you will know that. The first thing to note is that this is not an ‘attack’ in any way. That word is likely to make you feel more anxious and panicky, so call it whatever you like, but don’t call it a ‘panic attack’!

However bad it might feel, panic is not dangerous. You might feel you’re going to choke, have a heart attack or faint, but it is simply an over-enthusiastic stress response. The adrenaline and other stress hormones are released as if your life were being threatened by that lion….but it isn’t. You notice the physical sensations ( e.g. feeling of tightness in your throat) and that leads to a vicious cycle of panicky thoughts and more physical sensations. The feeling will pass (as it always does), and once you give it less importance it immediately seems less threatening.

How to Handle a Panic Attack

No need to be afraid. Flow through it. It will pass as it has before. This will significantly reduce its power.

Move your body. This changes your physiological state.

Tell yourself something positive.

Actively do something else, it doesn’t matter what! Turn your attention elsewhere.

By Jenny Gould, Mar 23 2018 10:18AM

That ‘Inner Critic’ is very insidious and quite toxic. It begins quietly and before you know it it’s like the loudest voice in the room. So why is it there? Its purpose is to keep you safe, to protect you. It’s the job of the primitive part of your brain to prevent you from doing anything to threaten your survival, so it urges you to be cautious. But of course we are not in mortal danger very often, so it the message is really an ‘error’ message. Why not take a moment to list as many of your self-critical thoughts as you can. Getting those thoughts out from where they lurk gives you the chance to see them for what they really are!

Taken from my book "Managing Anxiety at Work"published by

By Jenny Gould, Mar 20 2018 05:27PM


Anxious people often have a lot of ‘free floating’ anxiety, which allows anxiety to attach itself to many different aspects of life. It can lead to obsessive thinking and even progress to become obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - a bit like having a relentless slave driver inside your head! We are prone to ‘magical thinking’ too, perhaps imagining that we can cause or avert disasters, for example “if I don’t sit on the aisle seat the plane will crash”.

These usually begin in childhood, for example the idea that if we tread on the cracks in the pavement something terrible will happen. If we make a habit of indulging in this type of thinking then patterns become established which take some effort to break. It really is about stepping back and regularly noticing what messages you’re giving to yourself – and how you are ‘doing’ anxiety.Then practice replacing your main worries with positive thoughts and imagery and do that often. Slowly the neurons that have wired together will loosen their grip.

Taken from my book MANAGING ANXIETY AT WORK published by

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